Citycat's Prowlings

Sisyphus

Today, I was asked to go into work to update a document that didn't exist.

So that was fun.

Once all necessary parties got on board with me that, no, the document didn't actually exist, I got to spend three hours creating it.

So that was more fun.

THEN, because there had already been so much fun, the document got corrupted, went poof!gonebye, and returned to it's previous state of non-existence.

Thank god for 24 hour tech support.

Labels: futile., work

posted by Citycat @ 1:08 AM

Hee!

I just checked my stats and someone found this blog searching Google for "city cat blog falling down."

Hello random searcher! If you don't know me, you have no idea how right you were.

In other news, we are officially on contract for a house! We meet with the broker tomorrow to disseminate paperwork and I have to schedule inspections, and we have to pay a lot of people who we didn't even know two weeks ago many thousands of dollars, but we found a perfect house below our budget and are SO EXCITED about these developments.

In other news, the Joker's review of the exercise DVD's has boiled down to "Fuck Pilates."

Look at me with the updating! Hopefully, more soon!

Labels: House hunting

posted by Citycat @ 10:21 PM

Why We Are Watching Entirely Too Much HGTV.

Happy 2009! Now that it is almost February! It seems like every post I am all "I have been gone, but now I will be talky!" Y'all? I think it is time to just realize- I lie. I mean well, but things get busy and I don't like posting at work. But I will try, with the posting.

ANYWAY, things have been going well in the new year for our household, despite the fact that the economy is nosediving, and some guy committed suicide by jumping off the parking garage next to my office the other day, and really? A bunch of transactional lawyers probably don't need to feel like we are in the great stockmarket crash that started the Great Depression right now. But everyone at work seems optimistic enough that we'll all continue to be gainfully employed for the foreseeable future, which yay, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that the Joker and I decided to buy a house.

This... this was maybe somewhat of a snap decision on our parts. As in, I thought you needed to have 20% down to buy a house, which we do not. So initially I was all "We will renew our lease and save money and then when I get my bonus in 2010 (ha! with the bonuses! we were all so optimistic 6 months ago) we will buy a house. The first problem with that plan came when our Pupster, who the shelter promised us would be "50, 55 lbs max" passed 60 pounds at 10 months old. The Pupster limit at this apartment? 50 lbs. Now, the fact that we have had said Pupster for almost 6 months now and the apartment people don't actually even know about her yet means we are likely to get away with this for a few more months (lease up in May), but she's going to keep growing and at some point you can't hide a 70 or 80 pound dog. (Also? Dogs are not so much like drivers license pictures where you can totally lie about 20 pounds. She is not going to look remotely like a 50 pound dog. Period.)

So we began the search for apartments that accept big dogs, and that search is hard, especially when some of the brain trusts here define "large dog" as "35 pounds." 35 pounds?? That is a large CAT, people, not DOG. But anyway.

Then we had a realization the night of the BCS Championship game, where he roots for Texas and I have always been an OSU girl, and there are 4 minutes left in a close game we both care about and the dog is all but crossing her legs crying to go out. We realized that a backyard would be awesome. And then we thought that we could even work it out so she could have a room where there wasn't a lot of stuff to chew, so she wouldn't need to be crated when we left anymore, since the Joker is starting school in the Fall and won't be around all day anymore. And THEN I discovered that thanks to the FHA and the VA Loan, that Joker qualifies for, we don't need 20% down at ALL. So I made a crazy budget and we called a realtor and applied for a loan and we think we've even found the house we want.

So, um, yeah. If you read the above paragraph, you may come to a conclusion. And that conclusion would be correct.

The Joker and I are buying a house mainly so our dog can have her own room.

Somehow I went and became one of those urban working women with no children cliches when I wasn't looking.

But that's fine, because we are both turning thirty in a few months and that seems as good a time as any to own real estate. Happy Birthday to us! Have a mortgage.

Other than that, both the Joker and I are trying to eat better and lose some weight. I have done this by replacing my usual breakfast taco from the chinese guy in the tunnel with one I make myself and buying a fitness ball to sit on instead of the couch. The Joker, on the other hand, has done a complete 180 and is drinking smoothies filled with flax seeds and he just bought 11 different exercise DVDs, one of which is the 30 Day Shred, and I am afraid.

Hope everything is going well, I will update soon!

(Remember, that is very probably a lie).

Labels: House hunting, Pupster.

posted by Citycat @ 8:59 PM

PHOTO ESSAY TIME!!

Ok, it is time for a VERY FIRST on Citycat's Prowlings! The Joker was super successful and got a camera that is easy, good, and ALSO stylish. And I now (finally) have pictures of the Pupster! And the Jakester, just because I still love him.

So here we go.












So that is our baby, and our other, grumpier baby. And I am completely obsessed with the camera and posting pictures and iPhoto, so I promise more to come!!

Labels: animals, Photo essay

posted by Citycat @ 8:03 PM

Welcome Back, Stupid!

Hello! And Merry Christmas! Very soon! And we are all going to pretend that the last time I posted was not BEFORE THANKSGIVING, ok? Good.

Also, that whole "maybe I update once a month" thing should be rectified soon, because right now the Joker is out at Best Buy procuring us a digital camera, so I can take pictures of the Pupster and other Houston related things and post them here. With commentary! (Come on, you all know you love commentary).

Anyway, before the arrival of My New Toy (I asked Joker for shiny. And pink. But I do not think he is going to comply) I wanted to comment a little on something I have not talked a lot about lately. And that something is the Stupid. As y'all know, there is a lot of Stupid, and I have written about the Stupid, excessively. But just in case any of you were wondering if maybe the Stupid was a DC thing, and maybe the Stupid did not follow me to Houston? No. Sigh. The Stupid is here, in force.

Example Number One: Office Stupid

Ok, I as per always will not write much about my job here, on account of I like my job and has anyone SEEN the economy lately? Yeah. So no juicy job gossip. However, some things need to be said. I would like to copy an actual email I received one of my first weeks here. See, we are in a new space, with all new furniture. And upon entering my office, I noticed that my closet lacked a bar from which to hang things from, effectively rendering it useless. So I asked the very nice front desk lady if perhaps I could get a bar. For the closet. So I could, you know, hang things in it. Which... is the entire thing a closet is for. This was the response:

"[Redacted] relayed your request to me. A bar is not available for your closet because it is not deep enough to hang a coat hanger (all of the furniture designed like yours have the same issue, including most of the partner offices). For all of these closets we are working on getting a coat hook that hangs from the ceiling, then you will be able to hang a coat hanger crosswise. Hope this helps."

I will give you a second. Read that again.

The CLOSET is DESIGNED to NOT HANG THINGS. But no fear, I will get a hook, for the ceiling, thus permitting a single diagonal hanger.

Hello, Stupid! I missed you.

(To make matters worse, we instituted a new recycling program here. Which is awesome, and Al Gore loves us. And Al Gore has won an Oscar AND the Nobel Prize, making him officially Cooler than Almost Everyone. HOWEVER. The way the recycling plan works is, our trashcans in our office now only take recyclables. This has been defined, literally, as "almost anything that tears." (again with the helpy emails here). SO, not only does my closet not function, my trashcan cannot handle... trash. This job is forcing me to change my basic worldview here, people.)

Example Two: Parking Garage Stupid

So, you may think that with my closet basically operating as "large box" and my trashcan opting for an alternative lifestyle, I have enough problems. You would be wrong. Because I have also had several (several!) incident involving Parking Garages.

Example 2.A. (also? Drafting too many contracts.) I Lost My Car.

Ok, honestly? Who loses their car? I, apparently, lose my car. I should not be given expensive, dangerous things, because I am not capable of dealing with them. So here is what happened. As anyone who has ever met me or read this knows, I am not so much a Driver. I hate driving. My general theme my first few weeks here was "I drived. I did not died." Driving causes all use of correct tense to leave my brain. So anyway, I know one route to work. And one day I was driving it, lalala, and I needed to turn right, and then the road was blocked because of the hurricane, and I had to keep driving, and I did not know where I was, and I panicked. And then I thought, in the midst of freaking the hell out, that this street looks familiar, I will turn down it! Yay! And then, OH SHIT, because I had turned the WRONG WAY down a one way street and was staring down FIVE LANES of oncoming traffic.

Eep.

So, I did what anyone would do, and pulled directly into the nearest parking garage, which was not my garage, nor attached to my building, and parked there. Then hiked across downtown to my actual building, which I found because it is tall.

Know what I did not do? Write down, take note of, or in any way determine where I parked the car.

So 5 o'clock comes, and my boss is all, "let's have a welcome you happy hour!" and I think this is great, and then I start walking, and realize I have no idea where in the Hell my car is. And I am missing the party, that is being thrown at the bar by my house, for me. AND I have forgotten my cell phone, so I can't call the Joker and yell at him. (Hi Honey!). I am in the middle of downtown Houston, which is not SMALL, people, and has approximately ninety billion parking garages, and all I remember about the place where my car is is that it was maybe "shiny".

So what did I do? Well, what would YOU do if you lost your car in this manner? ("but we would never..." "Shut up."). Whatever it is, it is probably not what I did, which is walk into a random building, go to the security desk, and ask a perfect stranger if they knew where I parked my car.

Yes. Yes I did.

Luckily, by talking through this with the nice, nice (so nice!) lady, I eventually figured out if I retraced the steps that I had taken while driving around lost, I should be able to figure out where I had taken the wrong turn, and find the nearest garage. It worked.

Attorney Citycat: No less stupid than Bureaucrat Citycat. Only less rhymey.

Example 2.B. Parking Garage Gnomes.

One night myself and my new friend, K (I am SO OUT of cute nicknames right now) went to a bar, near my house. And I generally walk to this bar and then have someone drive me home, because it is both 1. Close enough that driving and paying six dollars for parking is ridiculous, and 2. Far enough that late at night it is not safe to walk back alone. So K was driving me home, and we were going to her car, which was also Parked In A Wrong Garage. Because she had met a friend for drinks first, but failed to park in the garage he told her too park in, opting instead for one across the street. (See above re: Parking Garages, Number Of). So once we finally found the garage, after walking merrily right past in and continuing in this manner for several blocks, and then resorting to the GPS function in her Blackberry, even though it was ONE STREET and NO TURNS, we had a problem. Namely:

The garage closed at 8.

It was 11:30.

No one was there.

So now we are deeply screwed, because as I mentioned, not the safest area on earth, and the car is locked in the empty garage. We push the call button. We wait. We try to ignore the man who comes up to us telling us we are beautiful. We push the button. We call her friend, who we wake up, and who is not happy. We wait. And then... Then the garage door opens. Magically. No one is there still. But the door is open. And at least there are no scary men on the inside of the garage, so we went there. The door closed.

Now we have our second problem, because again, no one is there, and the "After Hours" exit is... Blocked. With cones.

Being delusional, and also having no real choice, we get the car and drive down to the exit area. Where K determines that she has lost her ticket.

So to sum up: Garage locked, and empty, no ticket. K is frantically tearing her purse apart and I am trying to figure out how to call the Joker and explain to him that I will not be coming home on account of being locked in a parking garage, (I also forgot my cell phone this night. Maybe it's a pattern), when... The door opens. Magically. Again. And we leave, having no ticket and having not in any way paid for parking.

This was exciting.

And weird, because seriously, WHAT THE HELL?? I have no explanation. Even now. Gnomes. That is the best I have.

Example 3: Everything Else.

Ok, this is getting excruciatingly long and I have a conference call in 19 minutes. But there is a long, long list, including things like:

- Falling down in public after lunch for no reason,
- Being on my THIRD computer in 10 weeks for work because I KILL THEM DEAD, and
- Purchasing Office for a Mac, being sent Office for a PC, because they don't SELL Office for Mac under the special I was using, despite it being a CHOICE.

Anyway, stay tuned for pictures, and more updates soon!

Labels: Stupid

posted by Citycat @ 3:44 PM

Welcome November.

Hello! No, I did not die from being alone with the Pupster. Nor from the Hurricane. Nor from the Bar. In fact, things have all been going really well here in general, except for the unfortunate number of funerals that have happened. But Anyway. Quick Update:

1. I PASSED THE BAR. Yay.

2. Hurricane: It happened, it sucked. We were lucky, no real damage and power back fairly quickly.

3. Pupster: Oh how far we have come. As an example, as I write this, Joker has been out of town since Wednesday, which is almost SIX DAYS people, and I have been alone with the Pupster balancing work and dog and bar victory celebrations and have not yet lost my mind.

(Well. There was the moment Saturday night when Jake jumped up to the super-high cabinets, which I didn't even know he knew existed, and where we happen to store lots of expensive glasses and vases. And while I balanced precariously on the edge of the counter and tried to coax him down, and he... resisted, I turned around and found my dog ON TOP of my guest, on top the chair.)

She is still a good girl, but there have been moments. For example, here is the List of Things That Pupster Has Eaten:

Dog Beds (2)
Apple Mac Cord
Ipod USB Cord
Towel (mine)
Towel (my mothers)
Shoes (mine, 3 pair)
Boots (Jokers)
Joker's Wallet
Half Pan of Chocolate Peanut Butter Chip Brownies
Box of Tissues
Bag of Potato Chips
Rug

Overall though, the dog is going well, work is going well, the bar is passed, the hurricane is over, and I am looking forward to having my husband back tonight!

Labels: Bar exam, Pupster, Updates.

posted by Citycat @ 9:49 PM

Only Halfway Through Day Two

You Might Be Watching Too Much Animal Planet and Cesar Milan If:

You are making a sandwich, and the container holding the tomatoes gets stuck, and you find yourself giving it a low growl to show that it cannot establish dominance over you.

Labels: crazy, Dog

posted by Citycat @ 2:25 PM

Day One

So, the Joker had to leave on entirely bad and unfortunate circumstances. Everyone: Good thoughts for the Joker's family. And now I am alone with the dog and the cat.

Now, our dog is actually an extremely good dog, as far as big puppies from shelters go. She is not at all aggressive. I can reach into her mouth and take out whatever she decided to eat. She never attacks my cat. She doesn't bite. She doesn't jump.

However.

Two words. Separation. Anxiety.

Dog cannot be in a different room. Dog cannot be anywhere that she can't see us. And also, dog is a little worried about the crate. This is a problem when I am alone, because I like to do things like shower.

So, there is adjustment. However, my dog just proved why she is kind of awesome. Now note, that when Joker fell in love with the word "housebroken", apparently the person who wrote that was also a blogger because it was followed by: "almost." And it's true. In 9 days, there have been about 4 accidents, at least 2 of which were our fault. So earlier tonight, I took pup out, and it went like this:

Pup: By door.

Me: Let's go out!

Pup: Goes bathroom.

Me: YAY!

Pup: Sleeping. For hours.

Me: Let's go out!

Pup: But... Maybe I would like to sleep, but OH MY GOD YOU ARE LEAVING! I WILL GO TOO!

Pup: Goes bathroom.

Me: YAY! Have figured out secret pup speak!

We come in.

Pup: By door.

Me: Really? But we just... ok.

Pup: I am OUT! There is a frog! And a dog! YAY! (does not go.)

Me: Drats. Foiled again.

Two hours later.

Pup: By door.

Me: OOOh, no, Sneaky Pup. Do you have to go?

Pup: By door.

Me: NO. Am smart.

Time passes. Pup by door.

Me: Ok. Let's go.

Pup: Goes. Then again.

Me: Wow. Good pup, with the waiting.

Sprinklers: Go on, seconds after pup goes.

Me: Thank god.

We live in an incredibly dog friendly complex. There are several green areas, and all of them are equipped with doggie bags. But our dog? Likes to go in one particular place, that is not "open", and is more "landscaping". Which is fine, because I clean up, but also, I think that if she had gone 5 minutes later, and there had been sprinklers, things would have gotten Ugly.

(By the way? My dog? With "not aggressive" also goes "afraid of things", and so far that includes things like "potatoes" (don't ask), so sprinklers could have been the end.)

We have four days to go.

Labels: Alone, Dog, Piper

posted by Citycat @ 2:19 AM

And Then There Were Four. Or, Welcome Piper!

So. The post about the Exciting Thing has been somewhat delayed, mostly due to the fact that the Exciting Thing broke the camera, so there are no pictures. This is unfortunate, but the only picture I have right now is on my phone and I have no idea how to make it go from there to the computer. We even went and bought a disposable camera, and have some great pictures, but they will not be developed for awhile. So here is the post, and the story, pictures later.

BUT! Y'all, the Exciting Thing is SO. EXCITING. that I am totally not even over it yet. Because right now, napping at my feet, is Piper, our very own puppy.

Y'ALL I HAVE A PUPPY. OF MY OWN. THAT LIVES HERE. WITH ME.

Ok, you have to understand, I have wanted a dog for literally two decades. But most of those decades were spent in my parents house, and their answer to the constant litany of "Can I have a dog" was always, simply, NO. Then I went to college, and although one couple on our floor managed to sneak a puppy in for awhile (also on our floor: Guy who turned the study lounge into a hotel room, raves, and attack roaches), I really didn't think it was overall a good plan. Then, for years, I was running around in high heels and causing trouble and maybe not often sleeping at my own house. So I did what any red blooded girl who desperately wants a puppy but can't commit, and got a cat.

Then law school happened and I lived with the fabulous Canadian family and they? Tolerated Jake fabulously but somehow turned into my parents when the subject of a dog came up. (Read: NO). But then I got together with the Joker and we had many conversations that went like this:

Me: Can I have a puppy?

Joker: Yes, once we move.

(we moved).

Me: Can I have a puppy?

Joker: Yes, after the bar and California.

(takes bar, returns from California).

Me: Can I have a puppy?

Joker: Sure, lets get one! TODAY.

And my parents, who apparently have no aversion to dogs belonging to other people, got very excited and we all trooped down to the local shelter.

Which proceeded to BREAK MY HEART, Y'ALL, SERIOUSLY. Too many puppies and kitties and older dogs. Pets are family. They are not expendable. You don't get to just get rid of them when they become an inconvenience. But anyway.

We walked through a couple rooms, and then came to one cage where there were two puppies and the word that made the Joker fall in love, "housebroken". Somehow, we ended up with one of them on a leash, and then the next Wednesday we took her home.

Piper is a 30 pound, 5 month old black lab mix. There is some question as to what she is mixed with, possibly border collie. She has giant ears and usually one is up and one flops down. She is darling and precious and I am so in love with this dog.

We have had her just over a week and she is starting to relax and feel at home. (Read: Be BAD). We have her trained to sit (usually), lay down (usually), stay (for awhile), and fetch (when she wants to). She is a little too attached to us right now (read: Me) and we have to work on leaving her alone in her crate longer so she doesn't get stressed out.

Jakers is doing ok with the whole thing. Do not get me wrong. He hates the dog. He might slightly hate us for getting the dog. Sometimes when she is walking by he swipes at her for no reason at all. He growls and hisses and puffs up. He wants attention from me constantly. He lives on the counter now. He drinks her water. He climbs up on her crate at night and taunts her. I am still completely in love with my cat.

But life will never be the same. The Joker has a family emergency and has to leave, so for the next few days it is me, alone in the house with a dog and a cat who hate each other. Plus I have to ease her separation anxiety and I probably will never sleep.

But y'all.

I HAVE A DOG!!!

Labels: Jake, pets., Piper

posted by Citycat @ 9:24 PM